Your spouse wants a divorce, and you agree that it is for the best. What's interesting, though, is that the two of you do not seem to agree on why you want to split up. You both cite different reasons.
For instance, perhaps you thought that the two of you grew apart over time. You couldn't have avoided it. You're not the same people you were when you got married.
However, you overheard your spouse talking to a friend about the divorce, and your spouse said it was because you had different interests. While you assume that's part of growing apart, you never really thought being into different hobbies was the reason for the split. Your spouse never complained and you did not mind doing things on your own.
The reality is that, while they agree on many things, studies show that men and women do not always cite the same reasons for divorce. For instance, the top five reasons that women noted were:
- The couple grew apart (36 percent)
- The couple argued too much (30 percent)
- There was a lack of respect in the relationship (25 percent)
- One person was unfaithful to the marriage (24 percent)
- One person committed domestic violence (16 percent)
You may notice that those issues all add up to more than 100 percent, and you're right. The study told people they could select multiple answers, however, as multiple issues often lead to a divorce. For instance, the lack of respect may have caused numerous arguments, or someone who was unfaithful to the marriage could also commit domestic violence.
The reasons that men listed for divorce were:
- The couple grew apart (39 percent)
- The couple argued too much (27 percent)
- One person was unfaithful to the marriage (18 percent)
- There was a lack of respect in the relationship (17 percent)
- Each person had different interests (16 percent)
While the two lists start the same, the percentages are notably different. The biggest overall difference is that women mention domestic violence in the top five, but they never mention differing interests. Men do claim those different interests played a role, while failing to mention violence as a top-five reason.
One thing this study shows is that you and your spouse having different views regarding the end of the marriage isn't surprising. In fact, that could be part of the reason for the split. Is there a serious lack of communication between the two of you? Did you not even realize that your spouse was dealing with marriage-ending issues?
No matter why you decide to dissolve your marriage, make sure that you are well aware of all of the legal options you have.