When you are in the throes of your divorce, it's easy to get derailed by feelings of despair and loss. This is especially true when you neither initiated nor wanted the divorce.
But once the ink is dry on your divorce decree, it's time to focus on reinventing yourself in the image of someone whom you'd like to be. Take some time adjusting to the new normal and then segue into your newly single life.
If you're struggling to move on, the following tips may be helpful.
Mourn your loss and then move on
In many ways, a divorce is almost as final as a death. The demise of your relationship should be mourned as the loss it genuinely is. But then you should move on. Staying mired in past recriminations helps no one and only leaves you unable to accept the new opportunities that come your way.
Unless and until you begin to love yourself, you will not feel worthy of another person's love. This is a concept that a good therapist can help your explore.
Unload your baggage
You might not be able to even contemplate a new relationship right now while you are feeling so emotionally raw. But that day may come sooner than you anticipate, so it's important that you work out any lingering negative emotions from your previous relationships so they do not threaten your future happiness. Your trusted therapist can help you unpack your baggage and free yourself from your past.
Get your groove back
Who were you before you were a spouse and parent? Maybe you were an artist or writer who put these aspirations on the back burner to please the family. Or you might have been the life of the party who stifled your outgoing nature to match your introspective spouse's personality.
Let yourself shine once again. Pick up positive habits and hobbies you let slide by the wayside during your marriage.
Expand your horizons
Meet new people and have experiences that place you outside of your comfort zone. You'll never know what fascinating adventures you could have unless you place yourself in the path to find them.
If it's taking you a bit longer than you anticipated to get back on track after your divorce, remember that you are on your own recovery timetable, which may be vastly different from a relative's or friend's. With a little help from your support system, you should soon have a bounce in your step once again as you transition into your new post-divorce life.